Revisits

When I visited Venice in May coming home was hard, perhaps because it was my first visit in 10 years. On my second visit, in early September, I was geared up for the same heart-wrenching emotions. But they never came.

I was sad to leave, but not in the same way as I had been in May. That temptation to not get on the flight home was gone. And my all-consuming desire to continue my research into moving to Venice had also diminished.

I was disappointed in myself but also in a small way relieved. It’s complicated. There’s money and logistics and goodness knows what else to think about. And my life is already full of things that may not survive the move.

But maybe my response was because I had forcefully lined up several important projects and research trips immediately on my return to counteract the fallout (I was literally packing my suitcase again the day after I returned to Manchester). Perhaps I have more clarity. Perhaps the next visit will be even harder. I have no return currently in sight.

Since I got back two weeks ago, I haven’t even had time to look through my photos from September’s trip and I’ve barely drafted a few blogs about my week there. There’s plenty to come. It was a wonderful week, but I haven’t processed it yet. Nothing will let me.

The reasons will become evident over the next couple of months. There are announcements and milestones and a hope for the future. Watch this space.